I dunno if i have made the right choice to send him to fullday childcare. From Playgroup, he has been suffering. Disebabkan transport yang tak menentu, kept on changing and changing, disebabkan takde interaction and involvement in English language during his daily skool-life, we withdraw him out and placed him in PCF instead.
From Nursery to K1, he studied under PCF. He made lotsa frens, he is the most playful yet cheerful student and he's the teacher's favourite boy due to your friendliness.
Last year, since Bibiq left in a sudden, we've made big decision to let you continue your K2 journey in a full day childcare. Maybe ibu terlalu banyak sangat memikir tentang keadaan. Ibu nak yang terbaik buat semua. Niat Ibu menggajikan maid sebab ibu nak nenek rest. Ibu nak nenek concentrate on her ibadah. Ibu nak nenek enjoy her golden age. And when Bibiq left us, semua impian ibu hanyut dilautan sepi. Inikah yang dikatakan dugaan hidup sampai Aqil yang jadik mangsa.
Its been 3 days since school reopens. We could see the stressful expression when we send him to school and fetch him back. I will never fail to ask him, "How was school today? Wat so special today?" and he will always reply, "Ok, but i want to go home......."
It hurts me more when he vomitted in school cos he cried too much on Monday morning as he refused to stepped into the school. It hurts me even more when i have to leave him with Teacher Suhana while he was still crying....
I felt really really hurt when he's now down with fever, immediately after he came back from skool today.
Maafkan ibu sayang. I felt so guilty. I always wants the best for you. I jus wants you to be happy. I longing to see your cheerful face again.
So should i wait for the 2 weeks trial to end and transfer him back to PCF? He said he like Teacher Suhana but he jus wanna go home... but if i send him to half day, might as well i transfer him back to PCF which my mum will need to sacrifice to send him and fetch him back from skool. And wat if PCF has no more seat for him?
So tell me, what should i do?
aku pong tak pahamm.....
ReplyDeleteit's never an ez choice..but we as parent gotta do wat we gotta do...i'm havin troubles myself sendin aniq to infant care....but it's still betta than leavin him alone wif a maid at home....stay strong dear...
ReplyDeleteIts really painful Julz.... i was lying down beside him jus now and i jus cant control myself but to cry.
ReplyDeleteIts ok, i don blame you cos u have not gone thru it. you'll understand it soon dear....
ReplyDeletealah kesiannya aqil. i pun sedih bila baca ni. poor boy! put him back to PCF lah. he is used to be at home unless he's in childcare since he was very small.
ReplyDeleteterpikir jugak...apa lu ckp memang betul betul betul....
ReplyDeletenanti when Nuhaa....*gegegege*
I know saper lah nak mintak advise ...ko makan garam...highblood dulu...lepas tu aku nyer turn lak...rasa-in gue.........
Dia baru ajer abis mengigau Hana! Ni kat sebelah i.... meraung2 macam nampak apa jer. Ayah dia baca terus baca kan........ he said he got nitemare of the current skool.... duuuhh
ReplyDeleteWill call both centres tomorrow to ask for opinion
*wiNks*
ReplyDeletealamak sampai ngigau. kesian betul budak ni. maybe dia boring kat sana pasal childcare ni restricted lah cos dia dah besar & dah biasa kat rumah. my fren nya anak pun sama. ashik sakit aje bila kat child care. depends on individual lah.
ReplyDeleteor u put him back at PCF but afternoon session lah from 1 to 5pm. yr mum can rest more like dat.
PCF kat his old skool only morning session, 8am to 1pm. My mum tells me to decide cos she said she don mind to walk him to/from skool. SHe said dok kat rumah bleh tua lagik cepat. Duuuhhh...... fikirans aku nyah!
ReplyDeletehehe...cute of yr mum.
ReplyDeletefikiran? cepat minum kopi apa tu. entah apa nama dia. boleh hilang stress hehe...
Perl Cafe? Hiihihihi........ will decide by end of the week or next :(
ReplyDeletekak zue,
ReplyDeletefrm my professional point of view..
let's acknowldge the
a) transition period for him towards a new setting / environment and adults in the school
- its common for young children to experience anxiety (to express it, they usually cry, have nightmares and vomit..etc) just like us when we joined a new workplace - sure worried right? acceptance by others, school culture diferences and etc? of course, we do not react by vomitting or crying but somehow, we feel stressed!
Strategy: give him some time, prepare him for school in other words, not only you hug or kiss him..Talk to him about your first day of school..have a family time reflecting your very first feeling of school..., give him some time frame like exactly after what event in school (eg: after math lesson) that you will come to fetch him home.
Young children needs predictability coz if not, they feel lost and insecure. Give him sometime to build rapport with friends and teachers. Assure him that you still care for him. Write simple notes to him, secretly in his bag..play a 'complete the sentence game' where you leave clues for him in his bag and of course its incomplete.. to be completed when he reached home as the last word in the sentence is waiting for him..
b) seperation anxiety
for both child and mother. You got to try to let go, trust the teacher and although it hurt you to see that your son is crying badly and his body has yet to adapt to the envt and culture of the school setting..he will be settle in pretty soon..you got to be strong and believe that you are doing all the best for your son. I believed that you have done your homework in choosing the child care services and envt that suits your child's needs and deemed best for your son. Thus, work very close with the teacher to see how you can help her, support her and work in partnership with his teacher on learning areas that she observed that has to be improved..
Strategy - acknowledge your son's feelings first, show him you really understand and do not give him solutions. Negotiate with him on how you can make things easier for him in school. Give him choices within your means. Have a 'go to school happy faces chart' for both your first and second boy..a lot of work for a working mother but you gotta make it work, right?
Avoid asking " How's school?" "What did you do?" " Do you like to go to school?" Imagine if I ask you daily after your work, "How's work?" " What did you do?" "do you like to go to work?" sure we would answer negatively..defintely - not keen to go to work after a weekend rest for instance..its a long day for both yourself and your son.
Perhaps, you could know more about the school's currciulum or new toys in school for that week. Thus, when he wakes up one early morning, suggests " Teacher so-so told ibu that you are going to have fun with bubble painting. Shall we try that in school? Tell ibu all about it and show me your art pieces, ok?"
Its never easy to raise a child but I am very sure, you will pass this phase pretty soon..give me a call or pm me if you need more ideas...if there is a trial usually, parents can stay with the child. It really depends on the centre's policy..you might want to read up on seperation anxiety..do a google search...dun worry....once you set your mind to it, just proceed..i am sure your mother dun mind but its thoughtful of you to allow her some personal time in the day from caring for her grandchildren...
K2 is a crucial year before formal schooling..so, whatever your decision is, please spare a thought to the number of transition that your son has to face all over again if you put him back at PCF...
His body and well being is adjusting to the new environment...so, give him some time to adapt..first few weeks, sure you faced challenges and headaches..its very very common for parents...he is learning to cope in a group setting and mananging his routine..
I am more than happy to share you my thoughts and pra
Duhaii...Khabar mcm tak sedap gitu..Dari die muntah, sampai kan die da demam..
ReplyDeleteBeta tink...If u wana trial for a wk, tgk kan jeee..
Hopefully will b fine, tp if cant u beta do sumting. :))
Hi Asy, i've done few of the examples that you've quoted. Sharings points wif him on how great skool is. How fun the day will be.
ReplyDeleteI'd really hope that he can settle down in AMP asap cos to do another transition is indeed a chore but if he is getting more and more stress by end of next week, i have to sit down with the teacher and discuss on our next step.
Everytime when i send him to skool, he will say "Not tis school ibu. I want to go to another school" and he'z referring to the old PCF. Last Sunday, we saw his ex-classmate and the boy (Rishin) asked him. You could see the glow in his face but too bad, Rishin didnt hear him calling. I bet you if Rishin were to hear, the 1st question he will ask is "Izaaz, why didnt i see u in skool?"
I will still monitor him. Thanx Asy, for the professional advise, really appreciate it :)
Ni dah braper kali terbangun then mengigau..... pointing at someting and screaming "Tak nak! Tak Nak!" Sampai ternaik bulu roma aku... Duuuuuhhh
ReplyDeleteku nak nasihat tapi tak pandai....anyway i'll pray for the best untuk u & aqil. apa2 pun yr decision nyah will always be the best for aqil.
ReplyDeletehmm..talk with the teacher first then see how..but really, i have talked to parents similar situation like you, nightmare pun ade...for both parents and child..do talk in details and get to know hwta is the teacher next action plan...suggest to the teacher, can you pop in and be with you son for a few days like 3 half days so that you see fr yourself how he is in school rather than just dropping him in school and leaving him on his own..very traumatic tau...hopefully, the school has that policy..nevertheless, i got another idea- homeschooling your kids, you jadi tai tai mama!;)
ReplyDeleteLike what our mums used to say... jadi ibu mesti tegar..! If I were you, I'd continue putting him at the childcare.. Look on the bright side, it's been 3 days, and he says he likes Teacher Suhana..! That's already a good sign, isn't it...? But nonetheless, you as the mother, know your son better, so trust your instinct...
ReplyDeletehey don't worry.. just persevere and don't give in. It might take some time maybe even upto a month for some kids to adjust to a new environment. But insyallah soon he'll love school so much that he'll even wants to go on weekends!
ReplyDeleteI noticed that my daughter sometimes doesn't like it when i ask her too much questions about school .. she said she's tired. But she'll open up and tell me everything or bit by bit when she's ready.
haiz.... if i pun stress seh pikirkan.... be strong sis. and make a right decision. ibu lebih tahu yang mana lebih baik untuk anaknya.....
ReplyDeleteHow i wished! Nanti lah, berkat doa korang biz kita boom.... or kena hit by the spam mail about the leftover saving account from dead millionaires.... hahahhaa
ReplyDeleteThanx babe! Muacksss!! Today i got to take urgent leave cos he's down wif fever. Last nite, whole nite having nightmares. Scream in the middle of the nite.... duuhhhh
ReplyDeleteYup, i do agree.... tapi lepas tu dia paused and said, "But i wanna go home...." Aiyahhh!! Senang2 wa antar dia pi tu expensive retail shop I WANNA GO HOME lah.
ReplyDeleteYup, mum knows the child better sebab he'z a kind yang senang get along with strangers. Tu pasal i tak agak2 nak change him to a fullday care. Skali tetiba jadik budak day dreamer plak. Jadik pendiam serta merta. Satu patah kita tanya, sepatah dia jawab. Totally diff from the Aqil i raised.....
The prob is now, tis is his last year. Those who started early as in Playgroup may not feel it cos they are trained since small. Tapi my son, secara terkejut! Hihihi and maybe by the time dia adapt, its time to proceed to Primary 1 liao. Hihihihi..... i i dunno why but i have a strong feeling that i made the wrong choice to transfer him to another school.................................................................... argh!!!! Stoopid mummy, thats me!
ReplyDeleteThat day my mum pi jemputan, nampak ur brother...... my company's D&D oso nampak ur brother, sat beside my table :)
Insyaallah, hari ni meeting the teacher in the fullday care to ask for opinion. Dah baca rules & regulation about the 2 weeks trial. Dah call the previous centre to see if there is anymore room if we decided to come back. Though his seat has been taken, the principal is so sweet cos she is willing to make acception for Izaaz.... duuuhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteohh which brother of mine ? Fadzil ker ?
ReplyDeleteYup..... si montel tu, hihiihiihih
ReplyDeleteoh my..kecian nyer ur son..susah gak nak beri pendapat cz me pun mase stress tgk my son cried on his 1st day of sch..jgn ckp dier jer nangis,dgn ibu dia pun berderai airmata...kak mi,i noe its not easy to make a decision.iv always tinkin nak beri sedikit ruang utk my mum brnafas..kecian nenek2 nie kn..but trust me,its only for a while..im sure he'l be ok ya..masalah i lagy berat kak mi..tuhan jer yg tau...bt if me,il put him in pcf dulu..
ReplyDeleteThats the main reason but u know wat, my mum yang salahkan i sebab letakkan dia kat Childcare. Dia cakap, she still can cope but u know lah orang tua, sumer dia nak bolot. Dia cakap, masa i was small, it was my grandma who take care of me while she go out to work so now, its her turn to pay back. She said tak menyusahkan sebab PCF tu is jus 5 mins walk from home, nak amik IZ also jus under the void deck. Nak antar IZ ngaji pun is jus 3 blocks away. She die2 want me to place him back to PCF.
ReplyDeleteSo camner ni?
oh dear...itz reli tough man...if nenek reli confident boleh..nmpk gaya uv 2put him back to pcf den..inilah dia nenek2 skrg..serba salah kita dibuatnya..
ReplyDeletebeb...if ur mum wants to, let her do it la.. at least she gets to walk arnd the blocks n its exercise for her oso which is gd..n she gets tospend time w her cucu.....
ReplyDeletekadang ni kita ingat kita susah kan our parents by looking after our kids tapi to them, its their pleasure. . . .
ReplyDeleteksian aqil sampai ngigau . . . . apa la agak nye yg dia thinkin eh . . . . .
Girl, i agree with idaalfaiz.. lagipun tahun depan anak u nk masuk P1.. i'm sure u want him to enjoy going to sch. right?
ReplyDeleteHope u can make the best decision...don stress2...
Hhhmmmm memang betol its a form of exercise. Ok ko nengok dia nyer schedule for the day eh if Aqil were to be placed back in PCF:
ReplyDelete7.20am: Bathe Aqil, siap and brekfast
7.50am: Send to skool
8am: Aqil starts skool
9.30am: Adly bangun, mandi, siapkan and brekfast
10.30am (Only on Mons & Weds: She go mengaji @ Blk 719
12.30pm: My dad will put Adly to sleep
1pm: She come back, fetch Aqil, feed Aqil lunch and put him to sleep
2.30pm: Fetch Izz from schoolbus - undervoid deck and serve lunch for Izz
4-ish pm: Send Izz to mengaji @ Blk 719
5.30pm: Fetch Izz back
6.30pm: Bathe Adly whereas the 2 bois can bathe sendri
7pm: I come back....
Hectic tak? Hectic kan for a 63yr old mum......... If Aqil is in full daycare, she can wake up till 9.30am, takyah kelam kabut after mengaji to fetch Aqil.... dia pernah jatuh skali, and that was a wakeup call to me. I don wan her to kelam kabut and then hurt herself again. Kita kalau sakit amik MC, kalau rasa macam malas nak kerja pun amik MC but she, 24/7 tak pernah kenal erti MC and lagik she dah menopause, her sleeping pattern at nite will be after 12.30midnite..... kalau tak bleh tido, maybe after 1.30am baru dia sleep...
I have 2 weeks to decide.... uhuuk uhhuukk uhhuukk
Kekadang dia rasa, kita dah tak nak pakai "service" dia tapi kita nak yang terbaik buat dia so that they can enjoy theyr golden times......
ReplyDeleteYa kesian sei. Aku ngan Abg Le tak tido satu malam sebab dia really had a nightmare....
Tadi i went to the Childcare to speak to the teacher. She said he is a well-mannered student, tiap2 pagi orang check tangan for HFMD but dia, hulur tangan to salam every teacher. Hahhahahahhahahahah!!! kekek ahhh ini anak.
ReplyDeleteIbu mana yang tak nak nengok anak gembira kan? Insyaallah i will decide the best for both Aqil and my mum....
tapi kalau aku pon stress la.. difficult decision ey..hopefully next 1 or 2 wks he will slowly adjust la..
ReplyDeletemana tauu... dia ada terpikat dgn satu girl pat sana.. so SEMANGAT SIOL nak gi skola whole day!!
ekekekkee
Ko siolll ahhhh. Hahahhaha
ReplyDeleteHi Asy,
ReplyDeleteI made appointment to speak to Teacher Suhana and personally expressed my concerns. She feedback to me that my son is a well mannered and a well behaved student. Only that for the last 3 days, he kept on asking his teacher, "Hhhmm after lunch we go home right?" And the teacher will reply, "No, we eat 1st then sleep. After that we can go home....."
With the response from him, we knew that he's not used to the long hours in school. He did tell us he wants to eat and sleep at home. So we have come to a conclusion to monitor him. Azmi will have to pick him up as soon as he finishes his work (abt 5.30pm) meaning i have to sacrifice to go home by myself. Cos if Azmi were to fetch me and then fetch Aqil, it will be 6.55pm when we reach the center. So slowly, we will fetch him slightly earlier and eventually when he has settled down, will let him stay till 6.55pm, the original timing...
How Ceacher Asy, ok tak?
Heya
ReplyDeleteI tink the sudden changes made him feel like going home early since he's so used to short hours of learning. But I'm sure the feeling will lapse after some time, esp once he enjoyed being with his friends and teachers. Give him more time to 'blend' in.. and yeah.. I agree with your solution. Fetch him early (and let him know what time you'll be fetching him) during the 1st mth.. bila u tengok dia dah ok, you can try delay the time of fetching.
tersentuh hati ku dik...aku bayangkan kalau anakku mcm tu...nak kerja pun terbayang2 dok....mcm tu lah dugaan kite dik non....alamak akak tak tau nak kasi idea ar..
ReplyDeletemaybe tis is jus the begining... he will get use to it.
ReplyDeletemaybe tis is jus the begining... he will get use to it.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, this is the initial stage. I'm sure he'll ajust to the new environment. It's a matter of time. Don't worry my friend. He'll be ok soon. **Hugs**
ReplyDeleteYup but after a long tot, we decided to opt for a one way transport. Fetch him back home at 5.30pm where all the huge flock goes home.... we don mind to fork out additional $50 bucks for the transport so long he's happy.
ReplyDeleteAt work i kept looking at the time and tell myself, "He'z gonna be alrite" but in my heart, Allah jer yang tahu sis
ReplyDeleteI tink so too.... but i know my tis son so so much. He has a low confidence level so kalau skali dah tak shiok, he will melarat sampai bila.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too.... pray for ur future son in law ok
ReplyDeletei personally thinks PCF is better den childcare.... like i am working in childcare but i still put dini in PCF.. seriously lah frm wat i tink by working in the enviroment. unless if the kid is use to being in childcare, getting him into one in K2 is not easy for him to adapt. cs like everything plan for him at dis time do wat dis time do wat. he must be thinking at dis time... his along n his adik is at home doing dis n poor him have to be in childcare. dats y i tink he cries. same prob with my K2 girl leh trauma oi!
ReplyDeleteU mean dini now also K2 eh?
ReplyDeletealamak dini no lah i mean there is one girl i am teaching in K2.. she baru start at my centre... she will always cry n tell me.. at this time i always watch tv with ah ma.. ko ko all at home y i have to come here.. so like she trauma like dat lor.. cs frm the start she is use to pcf. if tk btl2 mmg very hard to adapt lah at childcare. cs dia mcm army style mah everythng must follow time table *lol*
ReplyDeleteThats where kids learn to be independent :)
ReplyDeletetrue but PCF n Childcare is definately diff lah so if u really want him to adapt u need to give him alot of support. U go Ibu! :)
ReplyDeleteInsyaallah.... today seems better :) hope it will better each day till he graduated from K2
ReplyDelete