Ramadhan tahun ni, tak tahu kenapa ibu rasa rindu sangat2 dengan Izzyan.
Padahal ibu tak pernah kenal siapa diri Izzyan Zuheyrah sebenarnya...
Tiap kali selepas solat Maghrib, rasa rindu ibu semakin membara
Desakkan hati nak baca surah Yassin semakin membuak-buak, tak tahu kenapa
Yang sedihnya, ibu tak dapat nak bayangkan bagaimana rupa Izzyan sebab ibu tak pernah tahu siapa dirimu
Tiap kali ibu baca, semakin lancar pembacaan serta sebutan
Segan ibu dengan abang IZ sebab bacaan abg long lebih sedap, lebih sempurna sebutannya dari ibu
Kekadang bila Abg IZ baca, ibu hanya berpaling tajam kearahnya sambil dalam hati berkata, "Ya Allah, mudah-mudahan segala doa-doaku yang ku laungkan setiap hari buat zuriatku, kau perkenankan. Kau jadikan lah zuriat ku penyenang hatiku dan penyejuk mataku, anak yang soleh yang berguna untuk menegakkan kalimat-kalimatMu, samaada dalam urusan agama, dunia & akhirat"
Awal Ramadhan ini, ibu bermimpi seorang anak kecil. Tapi ibu tak tahu samaada itu adalah Izzyan...
Izzyan datang dalam mimpi ibu ke sayang?
Ibu slalu berdoa, agar kita dipertemukan dalam mimpi
Ibu pun ada bermimpi nenek Midah, tapi samar2...
Tahun ni, tahun kedua kita semua berhari raya tanpa Nek Midah
Sememangnya semua telah redha dengan pemergiannya tapi rindu tu tetap ada
Tak tahu macam mana suasana nyer nanti
Izzyan kirim salam nenek, ok sayang
Cakap kat nenek, kita semua rindu dengan Nenek Midah
Moga setiap kiriman doa, sampai kepadanya
Bilang dengan Nek Midah, Abg Long nakal
Main2 ketika baca Al-Quran sebab skarang baru Juz 3
Tak tahu macam mana dia nak khatam bulan Mei nanti sebab tu janji dia dengan ayah
Bilang dengan Nek Midah, Aqil tekun puasa sampai kering bibir dia
Aqil pun rajin, slalu tolong ibu & Nek Leha siapkan meja untuk berbuka puasa
Tanya dengan Nek Midah, masa ibu bawak Adly ziarah pusara, Nenek dengar tak bila Adly cakap, "Nenek tido bawah?"
Bijakkan adik Adly, padahal ibu tak ajar semua ni...
Anak sayang, kalau Izzyan ada, tentu tahun ni kita sedondon pakai baju songket warna hitam kan?
Kalau Izzyan ada, tentu Izzyan akan ikut ayah pergi Johor smalam, main bunga api dengan Abg IZ, Aqil, Aneesa, Balqis & mak long.
Kalau Izzyan ada, tentu Izzyan lah anak yang paling sibuk bantu ibu & nenek siapkan juadah berbuka puasa
Tapi ibu tak pernah menyesal kehilangan Izzyan sebab ibu tahu, Izzyan ditempat yang paling sempurna
Sebab satu hari nanti, insyaallah kita pasti akan bertemu, kan sayang?
Akhir kata, salam teramat istimewa buat Izzyan Zuheyrah, kupu-kupu Arash yang senantiasa dihati ibu.... buat selamanya
Al-fateha....
I'm so touch reading this entry...I even shed my tears upon reading it...Al-Fateha!
ReplyDeleteSorry eh sis, bukan maksud Kak Zue nak buat orang nangis
ReplyDeleteBut tak tahu lah, jus wanna let it out so will feel much better
If not, sebak dalam hati hanya Tuhan yang tahu
*hugsss*
Al fateha...ur every entry bout her really touch my heart....*sob sob*
ReplyDeleteBlum start baca je airmata dh berlinang....
Cos tis is the real feeling of me to her...
ReplyDeleteRasa kasih sayang tu sentiasa ada walaupun tak dapat bersama
Kekadang i nengok baby2 pompuan, in my heart whispers, kalau dia ada, sure i wanna dress her like tis, like that...
*hugs*
Zue.. i really feel for you and every time u mention this name Izzyan Zuheyrah i really cannot put myslf in your shoe cuz it just hurts a lot even though it is not happening to me.. I salute you cuz you stil have the courage to move on with life, though its hard.
ReplyDeleteSemoga Allahyarhamah Izzyan Zuheyrah berada di sisi Allah yang tenang dan selesa hendaknya..
Tempat yang suci, yang seindah syugawi.. Al-Fatehah buat Izzyan Zuheyrah ..
Zue, you being very emotional lately, and I hope this is just another PMS mood. Cheer up dear.
Syawal nie, aku harap kau dan keluarga, esp you 3 kiddos whom i think are the smartest and obedient kids will always be in good health.
Though i have never get to see your kids personally, i am so impressed in the way you brought them up. And i really envy you for that. You are doing a good job as a mum & I am sure that Izzyan is always reciting her prayer for her Ibu up there..
Take care for now Zue..
Till then. .
~Mommie Siti~
hi Kak Zue, the more I read ur blog at times u have dat sense of humour and bubbly in u.
ReplyDeleteBut then at times when u wrote abt ur precious gem princess there are something so special in u which no1 knows only yourself. I know u are very strong and positive lady ur smile n characters which sometime giler2 jugak really makes ppl very comfortable to click wif u..and u have a very happy family wif Abg Le as ur strength of pillar with yr priceless 3 prince...which losing sum1 and i know how its feels which it takes very deep impact of the emotional...but i know u hv dat stong will power to overcome any obstacles and u can handle it.
Lastly my condolences for your lost one...al-fateha....
Today, aku sorang2 pat ofis cos its my duty to come back tis week...
ReplyDeleteDari pagi aku type, aku baca berulang kali, but i hold back my tears...
But when i read ur reply, automatically i cried, dah tak bleh control lagik sei...
Takde pusara nak aku ziarahi dia nyah, hanya setakat warkah yang tak beralamat serta doa-doa yang mampu aku berikan....
Sebab aku percaya, she can hear me calling out her name... *sob sob sob*
Yes, i admit recently i am very emotional. Maybe tu adalah naluri aku, sebagai seorang ibu yang nampak kuat tapi kenyataan nya, aku lemah nyah. Mungkin jugak bulan Ramadhan, bulan suci. I will feel so "new", like a new born everything i say prayers to my family & my frens.
Insyaallah, one day you will get to meet Thee Izzueamy as how i wish i could meet my multiplier galfwens too!
*Hugs*
Hi darling... orang giler2 pun boleh nangis sampai bengkak hidung kan? *winKs*
ReplyDeleteYes, i have promised myself to be strong, especially for my husband sebab his lost is much greater than me, that was his mum. Jus imagine, 2 years ago, he lost his mum and during that last 2 year, he hafta take photography the next following week sebab dia tak kenal sesiapa so no one can help to cover. I tink he'z much more stronger than me.... anyway darling, thank you so much for wanting to click wif me and read all my blogs. And not forgetting, multipliers are oso my pillar cos they share my sadness, happiness, gloominess and giler-gilerness...
*hugs*
kau seorang wanita yng bekerjaya, berkarisma, bersopan satun, ada sifat kegila gilaan pada waktu tertentu.. tapi its ok to be sad and mourn over yr lil precious Izzyan.. i believe it is normal nyan, you will get over it soon, insyaAllah, Allah akan senantiasa melindungi insan yng berhati mulia, berjiwa bersih..
ReplyDelete*H.U.G.S*
Al-Fateha.
ReplyDelete*hugg*
-aisyah-
bergenang air mata ku tau..sabar k dik saper tau nanati ada penggantinyer..insayallah...
ReplyDeleteKak Zue, Sedih sungguh I baca this entry of urs.
ReplyDeleteSampai menitis airmata.
Sabar k Kak Zue, Insya Allah both of u dipertemukan semula. Ameen.
Sis Zue.....losing someone is never nice but kiter hanya mampu meredha pemergiannya dan sentiasa berdoa semoga Izzyan ditempatkan disisiNya.....I am sure she will be patiently waiting for you but I am sure too she wants you to be strong & happy for her brothers & father
ReplyDeleteNo mother should go through what you went through dan semoga Allah swt memberkati hidupmu for going through His Dugaan
*hugssss*
You made me cry..........
ReplyDeleteI tink so too... sebab kita ibu yg mengadungkan dia, will feel more that anyone else
ReplyDeleteHugss....
ReplyDeleteAnak2 yang ada skarang ni lah, pengganti & buah hati Zue, kak
ReplyDeleteCos i plan not having anymore. close 3 by 30 :)
So tumpang kasih sayang anak2 sedara yg lain jer
Sorry to have made u cry sis....
ReplyDeleteYes, insyaallah i will. Thanx Anis!
ReplyDeleteOh dear... sorry sorry. tak bermaksud nak buat orang berlinangan airmata
ReplyDeleteI jus felt better when i wrote letter tpo her and express my feelings towards her....
Warkah yg tiada alamat, kan nyah
Arrgghhh..Knp lah hari² lemao Isnin nie ku bersedih plak..Ni smuer gare² kao tau mimi..;p
ReplyDeleteAnyway i know how u feel..as a mum if da mengandung n keguguran.. But i noe u are a STRONG Lady that can battle ur feeling infront of others.
Insya-aLLah kamu akan bertemu dgn nyee jua..
Now..tumpang kasih syg jee lah dgn c Da'Oniii tu.. :))
Strong but emo... hihihih
ReplyDelete:o)
ReplyDelete